back on the mmorpgs. changed my username but now I’m worried fuckers are gonna recognize my voice. coulda changed my voice too, but all the other sims in my vocoder make me sound like the wheelchair science guy.

one time Dr. Lee said my voice really impressed her. what they programmed for me is based on my old human voice, but she didn’t think I’d be able to get it sounding so natural. like for example I shouldn’t be able to whistle. she was like, how can you whistle when you don’t have lips? I dunno. I couldn’t whistle when I did have lips but it’s fuckin cake now.

anyway she said when we talk on the phone sometimes she forgets it’s not a human man on the other end. & I kinda like that.

called up the SH handbook. shit, that thing’s the size of the Silmarillion (which Dr. Lee is reading right now cuz we watched LOTR & when she gets into something she gets fucking OCD about it, okay, whatever, moving on). Wilkin’s the only motherfucker boring enough to read it all the way through. it took most of the afternoon, but eventually I found where it says compromising the security of Project Skin Horse or any other Black Ops Social Services department is considered a federal offense.

y’know what’s better than online gaming? fucking sitting in the hangar not online gaming. this is an excellent way to be & I’m off the mmorpgs now.

shit shit shit I shouldn’t of signed on with my old username. that asshole Jonah Yu totally remembered me from back when & wanted to chat. to be honest it was kinda cool running into somebody from old times, even a douche. guess I was feeling nostalgic after gettin back online.

except Jonah knows I’m supposed to be dead. it’s kind of a long story, but he lives outside Philly & during one of our twenty million flamewars on the ps boards he hacked my account & found out my rl name & sent shit to my apartment. mostly crappy magazines I got charged for, but also actual shit at one point. we kinda had some bad blood. dude was probably dancin & throwin flowers when he read my obituary in the Inquirer, & now here I am back on Warhawk. this is like some fucked up Serial Experiment Lain shit as far as he knows.

got back on ps online cuz Marcie needed backup on some shit.  holy fuck I forgot how fun that shit is!  it’s so fucked up that I ain’t done online gaming in like a billion years.  course I can’t really play the human way but it was just tits meetin dudes.  also Marcie is fucking ninja ruthless.

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called Dr. Lee’s cell & asked her how long I’m gonna live. she said she don’t know. in fact that’s one of the reasons she’s keeping tabs on me, so she can improve the operational lifespans of future cybernetics projects. thanks a fuckton, Dr. Lee.
 
I asked if she wanted to come over & play Arkham City but she’s out doing a thing.

damn, how long am I gonna live, anyway?  I never really thought about that.  I’ve got a meat brain, that’s gotta wear out eventually, right?  but the rest of me can go on like forever.  that’s such a weird thought.  I guess I oughta be into the idea of bein maybe immortal but all I keep thinking of is the funerals.

asked M if he’s ever been in love.  he said it was the one meat thing he’d like to experience.  he said his creator was driven by love & madness, & he’d been programmed with madness but not with love.  I asked him what happened to his creator.  he said he died a long time ago.  I said, did he die of love or madness, & M said neither, it was a clogged artery.
 
it’s gotta be fucked up to be around as long as Moustachio.  my folks are dead too, but they didn’t die 100 years ago of oldness.  I dunno why he even bothers getting to know people since they’re just gonna die on him.

flew Sweetheart out over Lake Michigan to take care of some biz at the invisible island.  on the way back she was bitchin about the fucked-up (but hilarious) way Wilkin’s been actin around her, so I just busted out with, like, you got a thing for Unity, right?  shit, I didn’t think a dog could blush.
 
it’s actually all fucked up.  Unity doesn’t know & Sweetheart ain’t gonna say nothing cuz she doesn’t believe in interspecies relationships.  she said she’d rip my throat out if I said anything.  I said I don’t have a throat & she said shed find one.
 
fuck.  to be honest I was hopin for better news on the whole weird-shaped-people-getting-it-on issue.

I don’t know if Sweetheart’s like an active dyke. I’d rather not know, thanks. I mean no offense but we’re getting beyond Rule 34 territory here. she got something goin on, that’s all I’m sayin.

I do kinda wonder, tho. when you’re just totally a different species, how do you work it out? what if you don’t even have like sexy time equipment? I keep wantin to ask her, but Gavotte’s already made me watch the What Is Sexual Harassment? video 3 times this month.

everybody's already tired of Wilkin comin out as half gay. if i get another email forward from the Human Rights Campaign i'm sendin him lemonparty.